גִּדְעוֹן

The Failures

We had all heard what the prophet said when we had cried out to God. He had reminded our parents that he had brought our people out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery, that He had rescued them from the hand of the Egyptians. The prophet had said that God told Him he had delivered our pepole from all of our oppressors, drove them out of the land and given it into our hands. But we lived in hiding. In caves, dark, cold, scared to go out into our own fields because of Midianites. These people had destroyed our homes, our food, killed our animals, forced us to live lives of fear. And all the prophet said was that God told us that we were serving the wrong gods.

We served baal, praying to him to provide us with better crops, so that we could eat. We worshiped Asherah because our parents told us that she would make our people great, but for my whole life it seemed we were weak. But there were some people, like the prophet who claimed if we continued to call out to God He would answer us.

“Do you think it’s true?” I asked Gideon.

“What?” he said.

“That the God who rescued our people before will help us now? Do you think He’s faithful?”

Gideon, who had been lying under a tree hiding from the sun, picked up his head and glared at me with one eye open. He didn’t have to say anything. I knew Gideon, I had been working with him since I was a child. He doubted God.

We had worked through the morning in silence, so as we rested during the heat of the day, I decided Gideon probably wanted to stay in silence.

“I want to start early tomorrow.” He said as we stood to go home. I nodded. “In fact, I imagine it will be hotter tomorrow. I won’t work long, so you won’t need to come.”

Not helping him with the wheat meant I could help my father with our land, so I was eager to accept the day off. We said our goodbyes and I assumed I wouldn’t see him again for two days, but I was wrong.

It was a scorcher of a day, Gideon had been right and when I saw him approaching our cave home I told him as much, but he didn’t seem to hear me. He also didn’t seem to hear me when I asked if he was alright. He looked worried. “Did something happen? Did they come? Did the Midianites take your wheat?” I knew that Gideon, like the rest of us was a coward and he had probably shaken out the wheat from the fields in hiding in a winepress rather than out in the open. But he seemed so shaken that I wondered if they had still found him. But he didn’t seemed to have been harmed.

“Gideon!” I said, “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Come…” He started to speak to me, checking over his shoulder, then in a whisper so no one would hear him, “Come with me. There’s something that I need to do.”

“Gideon, it’s almost sundown.” I said hestitnatly, I didn’t want to go out in the dark. “Can it wait for tomorrow?”

“No. It has to be tonight.”

I followed Gideon back to his father’s barn then. “What are we doing?” I asked him, no answer. “Gideon, can you please tell me what’s going on?”

He handed me the bridle of one of his father’s bulls. “Take this one outside. We are going to slaughter him later.” I looked at Gideon. Was he suggesting making a sacrifice? But for what? For who? Gideon was busy preparing the other bull for something else it seemed so I led the second one outside and waited for him.

“Be a lookout for me” Gideon said. Without further questions this time I followed him. We stopped in front of the God Baal’s altar. Normally, people would make sacrifices to Baal for a change in weather, or better crops. I wondered now if Gideon had brought the bull here for that purpose. But I watched as he tied the bull to the bottommost beam holding it up, and as Gideon hit the bull to make it pull away from the altar. As the bull pulled away, the altar splintered. My mouth dropped, a scream came out. I covered my mouth quickly. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, I was the lookout, but I couldn’t believe my eyes. In shock, I watched Gideon turn from the bull, pick up an axe and turn to the pole where we worshiped Asherah. He started cutting it down. It wasn’t long before it came crashing down. Thankfully, it seemed, no one had heard it.

“Help me with this.” Gideon tossed me a piece of the wood.

“Oof” I caught it at my stomach. “What are we doing with these?” I asked him.

“We’re making an altar for the one true God.” He told me. I stood there confused while he stacked the wood and started creating a greater altar. Something in Gideon had changed.

After we had built a new altar, Gideon prepared the second bull and sacrificed it to God. I watched in silence. Wondering if it was an offering of thanksgiving or a sacrifice for our sins of worshipping these other gods.

I had fallen asleep by the altar as Gideon kept watch. Now he was shaking me awake. “You should go home now. It’s almost dawn.”

I yawned and stretched. “I’ll go home after you tell me what all of this was about.” I rubbed my eyes. Gideon nodded his head thoughtfully.

“I was hiding in the winepress, threshing the wheat.” He told me, but I nodded knowingly. “When all of the sudden he appeared.”

“Who?”

“A messenger from God.”

“Oh, another prophet?” I asked excitedly.

“No,” Gideon spoke softly, his expression made him look like he had seen a ghost. “I can’t describe him. But He knew me.”

“Lots of people know you Gideon.” I rolled my eyes.

“No, not like that. He said to me ‘The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.’” At that I truly couldn’t help myself from laughing. Gideon’s face stayed stern though.

“Why did he call you that?” I asked. Gideon didn’t answer. “Well, what did you say back?” I followed up.

“I said, “Pardon me, sir, but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our grandparents told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord save us from Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us up to the Midianites.”

Classic Gideon, I thought to myself, saying only what he thinks, not wasting any words.

“Did he respond? Was he angry with you? He has seemed so far from us. What did he say?” I urged him to continue.

“He turned to me and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

I was shocked. God was sending Gideon to save us from these terrible people who kept pushing us out of our homes, stealing our livestock, eating up all of our food.

Why Gideon? I wondered. He’s a coward! There were so many stronger men even in our community- and we weren’t even one of the stronger tribes. And Gideon is the youngest brother! Why not go to his oldest? Why not chose someone who could fight? Why not send someone who was a natural leader?

“I know what you’re thinking Purah.” Gideon’s voice startled me out of my thoughts. He was probably right. He probably knew exactly what I was thinking.

“So what did you say?” I asked him.

“What you’d expect, I said “Pardon me, sir but how can I save Israel? My tribe is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the runt in my family.” But that didn’t seem to matter, because I heard the voice of the Lord say “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive.”

“And you believed that? How? How are you going to do that Gideon?”

“I don’t know yet. I asked him to stay for dinner so that He could give me a sign that it was truly Him talking to me. He waited for the meat I prepared and when I brought it out, I put them on under the oak tree.”

“Did he eat?” I asked curiously.

“No.” Gideon gasped. “He had me take the meat and unleavened bread, place them on the rock and pour out the broth on it. Then he touched it with the tip of the staff and the rock caught on fire, the meat and bread were gone and so was the messenger. I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t believe it. It was only then that I truly believed it was the angel of the Lord. I thought I was going to die, but then I heard his voice and He said to me, “Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.” I built another altar there, he pointed out in the distance. “That’s where I saw our Lord.” he whispered.

I was amazed, but I still did not understand the sudden burst of courage from Gideon, why all of this just because God told him he would save us? Again, as if Gideon had read my mind he said to me, “He told me to do all of this.” He gestured at the new altar, the torn down pole, the splinters of wood and rocks strewn about.

“But why?” I asked

“Because if we want the One true God to save us, then we have to stop failing to worship Him as the one true God. He is faithful, but we have been failures.” I had never heard Gideon talk like this before. Not just the tone of his voice, but the strength, the belief in what he was saying. He had always scoffed at me for bringing our ancestors God up in conversation. He had always shook his head when he heard us praying to God to save us, he had always doubted. But now, now He had seen God for Himself. The sun was now rising which meant people would be stirring.

“Hurry home.” He said, he sounded like his old self again. “People are going to be angry.”

He was right. By midday everyone was talking about the commotion from the night before. They were angry. They were scared. They wanted to know who to blame. They didn’t want to be punished by the fake gods. They were going to kill whoever had done this. Word got out that it had been Gideon. I followed the crowd as they went to Gideon’s home. They pounded on the door and Gideon’s father Joash came out to them, “Bring out your son. He must die, because he has broken down Baal’s altar and cut down the Asherah pole beside it.”

But Joash replied to the hostile crowd around him, “Are you going to plead Baal’s cause? Are you trying to save him? Whoever fights for him shall be put to death by morning! If Baal really is a god, he can defend himself when someone breaks down his altar.”

People started mumbling now to themselves, perhaps Baal wasn’t as mighty as we had believed. Maybe, he wasn’t a true god at all. Why wouldn’t he have stopped us from tearing down his altar? My palms had been sweating, my stomach was tied in knots. If they had followed the laws of Baal, I would’ve been put to death too. Our sins against Baal would have to cost us our lives. But Gideon came out to the people, he repeated to them what the prophet had said to us, that there was only one true God, who was faithful- even when his people failed. That He was with us, even when we didn’t see Him. That He would save us if we would only believe in Him. As Gideon stood before the crowd, a thought crossed my mind. “He really will save us.”

He is Still Faithful

As time passed, things had gotten worse. The other people groups were starting to team up against our people. They were coming closer and closer. Forcing us out our day by day. If God really was faithful to His word, He would have to do something soon.

I stretched awake, moaned to myself about how sore I had been from working in such cramped places, sleeping in such cramped conditions. I had been praying every day that God would show Himself again, to me this time instead of Gideon. I wanted to see Him face to face. I wanted to know He would save us. But it felt impossible to believe. Things were so unbearable. How could I trust in Him? I was depressed as I dragged myself to the fields to meet Gideon for another day of labor. He saw me from a long way off and ran to greet me. Something was different today. He was out of breath when he reached me, “Purah. It’s today.” He smiled.

I looked at him questioningly. “What? What’s today?”

“We gather men. We create an army. We march against our enemies.”

My eyes widened. Was he joking? Gideon didn’t joke. What was he saying?

“He told me He would be with me. I feel it. I feel Him. He’s with us. I know He is.” Gideon continued smiling. I went with him as he blew his trumpet to gather the people together. It was overwhelming. Our people from different tribes were being called to gather, Gideon sent messengers throughout our lands to bring them, now we needed to only wait for them.

We had set up a camp for all of us. Gideon and I shared a tent. He seemed nervous. So many men had gathered. We knew more were coming. People were telling stories from old, of the miracles God did through Moses, how our people had won our land in the first place, there was an excitement in the air like I had never seen before. But Gideon was back to his quiet self. He seemed anxious.

“What’s bothering you?” I asked him as I lay down to go to sleep.

“What if they don’t come?”

“They already have.” I told him.

“What if they aren’t enough.”

“We will be strong fighters, or we will die trying.” I told him.

“What if God isn’t really with us? What if I’m wrong. What if He fails?” He sounded panicked now. I sat back up.

“Gideon. You were the one who said he is faithful. He won’t fail us now.” He nodded.

“I can’t sleep yet.” He said and took his fleece blanket with him out of the tent.

I woke up the next morning to Gideon shaking my hand.

“Look!” He held up a bowl of water. I looked blankly at the bowl then at him.

“Water?” I asked.

“Yes! The whole bowl full! And the ground is dry! Only my fleece was wet.”

I scratched my head, “Gideon, I don’t understand.”

“I know!” He said, “It’s impossible!”

“What is?” I asked him.

“This!” Now he held up the bowl and the fleece. “God is with us!”

“Why does that make you think He is with us? Last night you said…”

Gideon cut me off, “Yes, last night I prayed to the One true God. I told him ‘If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised— look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.’ And that is what happened! When I woke up and squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water!”

“Could be a coincidence.” I shrugged.

“I know.” He said, now more serious than excited. “I’ve asked for the opposite for tomorrow.”

“Will not God be angry with you? Are you testing Him?” I asked. If God was like some of the old gods we had worshiped he would not have patience for Gideon’s doubts, for his requests, for his fears, but Gideon seemed confident that God would answer Him.

The next morning Gideon and I both celebrated as He had asked God for one more request, so God had answered Him. “Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.” Gideon had prayed and that night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.

We both rejoiced to see God’s faithfulness, He had not failed us! God would save us!

Finally, the men had all gathered and they were ready to do as Gideon commanded. But Gideon pulled me aside before addressing the group. “I’m going to send them home.”

“Who?”

“Anyone who is afraid.”

“That could be all of these men. What are you thinking?”

“God told me that we had too many men. He said to me ‘I cannot deliver Midian into your hands, or Israel would boast against me, ‘My own strength has saved me.’ Now announce to the army, ‘Anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave.’ It’s time we send them away.” He said with certainty. I pleaded with Gideon for over an hour, trying to have him understand that our enemies already outnumbered us. How could we take less men into battle? Hadn’t we gathered them all here for this very reason? We couldn’t send them away. By the end of our conversation I realized it was I who was the coward, not Gideon. He had faith that God would still give us a victory.

Others counted the men who left, they numbered 22,000. Many fathers who wanted to take care of their families, many older men who knew that they were not prepared to fight, and many cowards like me left. But I stayed. If Gideon could believe, I could too. God would be faithful. He wouldn’t fail us.

“There’s still too many.” Gideon swung his ax into a tree in frustration.

“Too many what?”

“Too many men for us to take to battle.”

“How can that be?”

“We must test them now. God will send more home.” Gideon said with a deep exhale. He stroked his beard. I watched. Looking at a man who I had known all my life, but in these days he was so much more.

“When we go down to the water to drink, we will watch them. Those who lap the water with their tongues as a dog laps we will separate from those who kneel down to drink.”

We carefully watched each man as he took a drink, by the end of the day three hundred of them drank from cupped hands, lapping like dogs. All the rest got down on their knees to drink.

I watched as Gideon looked over the final counts. I wondered which men he would keep. One group was a mere 300 men. Surely these men would be sent home. I told Gideon what I thought was the right thing to do. He nodded, brushed by his hair. He was deep in thought. Soon, I saw him make his way to the front of the group. He called them men to attention, they all quieted to hear his voice. He looked like a mighty warrior standing before them. Though I felt unprepared for battle I knew I would follow him even into my death. Gideon wouldn’t fail us, I thought to myself, but then I heard his words. “Go back to your homes.” His words themselves were not scary– in fact it sounded inviting, it sounded kind, comforting- but he had said it to so many men. Now, he had only kept the 300. We were going to die.

“Purah.” His voice again startled me from my sleep.

“Come with me.” Though I grumbled, I stood and followed Gideon out of our tent. By this time I had decided not to ask where we were going. I should have though, because he led us to the enemy’s campsite. As we crept along, closer and closer each step Gideon read my mind again and spoke.

“The Lord has told me tonight “Get up, go down against the camp, because I am going to give it into your hands. If you are afraid to attack, go down to the camp with your servant Purah and listen to what they are saying. Afterward, you will be encouraged to attack the camp.’”

Purah, he had said my name. The Lord- the God of my ancestors- He knew my name. He called my name to Gideon. God knew me. I was so delighted, so excited, I forgot my fear.

“Shhhh!” Gideon crouched and I beside him, we had made it to the edge of their tents and we heard our enemies speaking. What we heard we couldn’t believe.

One of the men had just woken from a nightmare and was explaining it to the other. In it a cheap, common loaf of bread had come tumbling down upon their camp. It struck the tent with such force that the tent overturned and collapsed. Then we heard his friend respond with an interpretation of the dream that left us amazed, “This can be nothing other than the sword of Gideon son of Joash, the Israelite. God has given the Midianites and the whole camp into his hands.”

When Gideon heard the dream and its interpretation, he bowed down and worshiped and I with him. God again had shown Himself to be faithful. God Himself must have been there with us. He rushed back to our camp and Gideon called out, “Get up! The Lord has given the Midianite camp into your hands.” Gideon, the mighty warrior then divided the three hundred men into three companies, he placed trumpets and empty jars in the hands of all of them, with torches inside. This plan was something neither of us fully understood yet. We had talked it over many nights before this one, but we always worried it would not be sufficient- but surely God was with us. We would not fail.

“Watch me,” Gideon commanded the men “Follow my lead. When I get to the edge of the camp, do exactly as I do. When I and all who are with me blow our trumpets, then from all around the camp blow yours and shout, ‘For the Lord and for Gideon.’ ”

Gideon and I with our hundred men reached the edge of the camp at the beginning of the middle watch, just after they had changed the guard. Gideon looked at me. There was no fear in his eyes, only courage. Then he smiled and blew the trumpet. We all joined in and blew the trumpets and broke the jars that were in our hands. The three companies blew the trumpets and smashed the jars. Grasping the torches in our left hands and holding in our right hands the trumpets we were to blow, and we shouted, “A sword for the Lord and for Gideon!” Then all the sudden we saw all the Midianites start to run, crying out as they fled.

Only later did we realize that as we blew our horns and shouted the Lord caused the men throughout the camp to turn on each other with their swords. And the army fled. So few of us men had caused so much fear in their hearts- they believed they were outnumbered and out manned. They believed they were surrounded and in their panic they began attack one another. We had not even brought our swords to the battle. The Lord had fought it for us.

“After them!” Gideon yelled and we followed.

We had not failed. God had been faithful.

Gideon sent ahead messengers to have fellow israelites help cut them off as they tried to escape. They were successful and were able to overtake two of the Midianites greatest leaders.

As time passed, Gideon pursued help from our people but some were angry that they had not been included in the battle. I watched closely as Gideon assured them on why it must have been done the way we did it. He soothed their frustrations. It was like watching a father comfort a crying child and their resentment against him subsided- Gideon had become a mighty warrior and a mighty leader.

Though we were exhausted, we continued to pursue. We came upon a town as we followed after our enemies, Gideon spoke to the men of the town, “Give my troops some bread; they are worn out, and I am still pursuing Victim and Wolf, the kings of Midian.”

But the officials of the place said, “Do you already have the hands of Victim and Wolf in your possession? Why should we give bread to your troops?”

As Gideon responded he seemed more like the Gideon I used to know, angry, sullen, but now more proud. He threatened the men that when he had succeeded he would return and make them pay for their selfishness.

It happened in the next town too, and I saw Gideon slipping further into arrogance. As he spoke, I found myself almost wishing that we would not succeed and return to punish these other men. But still we pursued after the Kings. Their men still numbered about fifteen thousand, but we went by the route of the nomads and were able to attack the unsuspecting army.

Eventually they were captured and Gideon was true to his word. I tried to convince him to leave the men, but Gideon made them pay for refusing to feed us.

When we had returned to our home with the captured Victim and Wolf, Gideon sought to speak with them. Perhaps he would let them go free. I sat and listened as Gideon spoke with them. We had known that these men were terrible, murderous, treacherous. We had known that they had forced our people out of our land and even killed our brothers. I was thinking of these things, and like before, Gideon had read my mind and he asked the men “What kind of men did you kill at Tabor?”

“Men like you,” they answered, “each one with the bearing of a prince.”

Gideon replied, “Those were my brothers, the sons of my own mother. As surely as the Lord lives, if you had spared their lives, I would not kill you.”

Gideon in his anger did not look so kingly as the men had described him. Men who knew they were going to pay for their crimes, but had called him a mighty warrior, a mighty leader. But as I looked at Gideon I saw him fail. He would not show them grace. He would not seek God. He would fail. I mourned for Gideon when our people said to him, “Rule over us—you, your son and your grandson—because you have saved us from the hand of Midian.” I knew he could not bear the burden of leadership to be a king. We talked many nights about this. And he told them:

“I will not rule over you, nor will my son rule over you. The Lord will rule over you.”

But even as he said it, I saw Gideon choose pride. He named his own son, “My father is king.”

He took money and jewelry from the people as if he were a king. He no longer sought conversations with me. He took many wives. He had many children. I watched the mighty warrior again become a proud coward. But even in all of that I had learned from him. I learned from him how to trust God. Not because I was great- but because the Lord is great. I would fail. Just as Gideon would. But God would be faithful. He would not fail.