God Isn’t Hiding

All three of them laughed in my face. These men were my soccer coach, and my two bosses that I worked for. I trusted them, respected them, but they doubted me and they doubted Andrew.

It was May, 2017 and I told them that I would be marrying Andrew after his graduation and I would not be returning to school to work. “Christine, he hasn’t proposed. You don’t have a ring on your finger yet.” They wanted more evidence that we were going to do it. It can be hard to just trust somebody’s word. Andrew had told me that he was going to propose to me in the summer and that we would be married before Fall. Without the evidence of a ring on my finger, without the evidence of wedding invitations, without the evidence of a marriage certificate people didn’t really believe us. But, I knew who Andrew was and because I knew him, I had faith in him. I knew I could trust what he told me.

But then doubts started to creep in…

Our first year dating anniversary in June came and went without him proposing. We went to the beach with my family the following week, dressed up for family dinner, Andrew hinted at going on a walk together alone, but the night passed with board games with my siblings and left me doubting Andrew was ever going to propose.  I’m speaking today to anyone who struggles with doubts. Doubt if God exists, if He is good, if He loves us, if the Bible is true. If these are things you wonder I want to encourage you to do 3 things: ask God to answer your questions, wait for Him to show Himself in His way and His timing, and have faith through the Holy Spirit as you wait with hope.

When Jesus Christ (who was with God at the creation of the world) came to live on earth as a human, He lived a perfect life. He made friends, forgave sins, healed the sick, loved the unlovable, experienced temptations and never gave in to them. He lived a perfect life that I couldn’t live even if I started being perfect right now, I have already sinned way too much. To have a relationship with God, I needed someone else to live a life like my own but without sin. When Jesus was crucified He dealt with all my sin and paid the price in death. At His death his friends were distraught. They thought he was the King, the Savior of the world, but the Romans killed him! His followers had to go into hiding so people wouldn’t kill them too! They had to make a plan, ‘What are we going to do next?’ they must’ve wondered. Then by the power of the Holy Spirit Jesus was resurrected! And one night, as his friends were making their plans to go into hiding, Jesus appeared to them. Seeing him gave them all evidence and confidence they needed to go tell others the gospel, the Good News, about Him!

John 20:24-25 says, “Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

Thomas tells them he needs evidence. It’s fine that they all believe, but he needs proof for himself. Thomas might have been experiencing some social pressure doubt. He heard the threats of the Jewish people and the Romans that if Jesus’ followers kept proclaiming Jesus as King they would be killed. Perhaps Thomas was listening to the doubts of others and feeling they mattered more than his beliefs.

When I heard the men I respected doubt that Andrew would propose, I started to doubt too. I needed evidence. If others didn’t believe, how could I? In your life you will encounter people who doubt Jesus as Savior of the World. It may make you wonder for yourself if Jesus is who He says He is. Maybe you want more evidence. For your social doubts, I encourage you to pursue a social answer: ask people you respect why they believe. Thomas had been hiding away from the other disciples and his isolation from them had impacted his faith. Believers need one another to remind us of what is true.

Even at family vacation I had to listen to my sister reminding me, “Andrew has always been honest with you, he is in love with you, you are planning your life together. He is going to propose.” Her faith in him helped me even when I started to let my social doubts make me waiver. If you don’t feel like you can trust God because of what others have said or done, or you’ve seen the way “Chrisitans” act and you don’t like it, I want to encourage you to get to know Jesus Himself instead. Look at the way He lived. Listen to what He said. It is hard to disagree with the One who said the best life is one full of loving God and loving others. Christians may fail, but Christ did not. If you want to know Jesus better, treat Him socially. Ask Him questions, listen to Him. Spend time getting to know Him better. Ask Jesus to be your friend, wait for Him, and have faith that He will come through. 

Thomas thought his relationship with Jesus was over. He knew logically, physically, Jesus had died, how could he be alive again? The other disciples couldn’t fully explain how Jesus was raised from the dead. They weren’t lawyers defending Jesus, they were merely eye witnesses telling people what they had seen. Some of us want real world logical answers, I encourage you to look for them. Creation points to a creator, even our DNA shows that there was a design behind it! Look for the history: people witnessed what the Bible claims to be true.

Romans 1:20 says “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” The Psalmists also proclaim that when you look at the physical world, the sky, the mountains, rivers, you can see in it the handiwork of a Creator. And if you struggle still with the logic of this, I encourage you to test other worldviews. To be alive is to have faith in something, no matter how logical other people find it. I’ve studied other religions and lifestyles, none of them make more sense than following Jesus. 

Thomas didn’t want to blindly follow what the other disciples said, He felt scared and unsure. So he asked for evidence.

I was scared that Andrew wasn’t going to propose in time for us to get married and move before August. So I started asking him, when? When will you propose? How can I know it is coming? My emotions made me doubt him. When I doubted him Andrew didn’t throw his hands up and say, “You're hopeless, if you don’t believe me I don’t want to be with you. I don’t love you anymore.” No, Andrew asked me to wait, to have faith.

Maybe in your relationship with God your emotions are making you doubt him. Perhaps when you sing a worship song you don’t “feel” Him. Or you're going through some hard things in life right now and you’re scared. Your emotions aren’t bad, they just don’t always tell the full story. The third morning of our family beach trip, I was grumpy. I was in my feelings, Andrew hadn’t proved himself like I thought he would. He could tell I was in a bad mood, so every time I complained, he would say “Not today Christine, don’t say that today.”

And I would respond, “What? Why not today? Why can’t I be grumpy today?”

*at this point in my talk Andrew came into the auditorium on his bike and proceeded to act our story out with me.

Andrew knew that I needed some air so he suggested that the two of us go on a bike ride and take a break from being with my family. When we started riding, Andrew decided that he wanted to find a park for us to sit in, we arrive at the park that the GPS has directed us to, every tree is being bulldozed, there is caution tape everywhere. I’m ready to go back and eat lunch, but Andrew insisted that we find another park. My legs are already tired by this point, but we kept riding. Finally! We arrive in a second park and I am sweaty, hungry, tired and grumpy, but Andrew says we should find a nice place to relax in the park where maybe there’s a nice pond, but all that this park had was sand, grass, rocks and a janky metal pavilion. We made our way to the pavilion. I quickly got off of my bike and sat on the bench. Andrew asked me to stand. I refused. He asked again, I refused, he kept asking, I kept complaining. Finally, he fulled me to my feet, “What do you want?” I asked him.

“Christine, you know I love you.” He says.

“Yeah, I love you too.” Andrew told me how glad he was that we were best friends and how he always wants to be like that. Then he started to get down on one knee in all the humidity. When he’s on his knee, he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a diamond ring. “Christine will you marry me?” He asked. “Are you serious?” I asked him. It wasn’t what I expected, but it was everything I hoped for. He nodded and I said, “Hell yes!” After we embraced, we decided to get back on our bikes and go tell my family the good news! 

Andrew was true to his word and he gave me the evidence of his love.

God isn’t hiding from you, He wants to give you evidence of His love. If you ask Him to show you evidence, if you wait for him, and you have faith He will show himself to you.

“A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” Thomas responds with “My LORD and my God!” (John 20:26-29)

His doubts disappear and turn into even stronger faith. Do not let your doubts take you away from Jesus, let them lead you to Him. Jesus isn’t hiding from you, He wants you to have faith in Him. He wants you to be able to trust that His promises are true.

John ends this passage by saying, “Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.” (John 20:30-31)

He wants you to believe and so do I, so that you may have life in His name! If you are doubting Him socially, seek out other believers. If you are doubting Him logically, historically, look for answers. If you are doubting Him emotionally, look at truth. If you are wrestling with doubts at all I urge you to be like Thomas: ask, wait, and have faith that you will see Him!